Ella Dorn

Author Archive

  • October 20, 2025
    Is there someone you haven’t seen this month? Maybe a friend stopped answering your calls; maybe a colleague disappeared with no trace besides a suspicious set of footprints...
  • September 12, 2025
    Corporate logic says you can solve racism with a flawless dance routine. After American Eagle had a cheerless Sydney Sweeney say bad puns about “genes” and...
  • September 5, 2025
    Stardom is a cycle. After years in the firmament, they sometimes burn too bright and explode. Newer, more industrious entities must make meaning from the resultant debris – and...
  • August 21, 2025
    What has happened to the literary woman? She used to slouch listlessly towards Bethlehem. Now she is eating people. Chelsea G. Summers’ 2020 novel A Certain...
  • August 12, 2025
    It’s you, but better! You have strong bushy eyebrows and high cheekbones and a face so dewy it could have been submerged in a river literally seconds ago. Your pores...
  • August 6, 2025
    Sydney Sweeney’s campaign for denim brand American Eagle is not very good. In one deleted video the actress, 27, is writhing on the ground and trying to pull on her jeans, in...
  • April 17, 2025
    For the first half of the 2010s, any teenage girl in her room had a chance of amassing more political influence than a junior government advisor. She could define political terms and...
  • January 10, 2025
    It’s a Friday in early January and someone on 4chan has invented a new philosophical doctrine: “esoteric Kantianism”. “You must not take Kant’s words at...