My Life As An Energy Drink Guy

At a certain point, coffee ceased to be sufficient. I wish I could remember when the most socially acceptable form of caffeine stopped doing it for me, because it has shaped the course of my life. Now, at the onset of my life’s third decade, I have come to accept that if I really want to be woken up with a liquid jolt, I must reach for a drink so caffeinated that people around me say it’s terrifying, insane, or, my favorite, “There’s no way that’s good for you.”