The Year “6 7” Ate Parents’ Minds

Every so often, nestled in my inbox amid the endless messages from MyChart and TeamSnap and SignUpGenius and the school principal, I’ll see an email from a third-party vendor called Artsonia telling me that a new creative work from one or both of my kids has dropped. When I click on the thumbnail image, I’m treated to a hi-res scan of their latest creation—a Starry Night rip-off, say, or a koala collage—and am gifted the opportunity to have it made into a golf towel/oven mitt/keychain with free shipping if I order right now! Earlier this fall, an email from the principal informed me that in my 7-year-old son Malcolm’s art class, “students will be studying ancient Roman architecture while they recreate the Pantheon out of cut paper shapes.” Not long after, I got the alert from Artsonia that this work was complete.