The Inexplicable Logic of Contact Sports

My niece and nephew, who are not quite twins but were born within a year of each other, recently had a joint Bat and Bar Mitzvah. This, I learned, is known as a B’nei Mitzvah. Through a series of misadventures, it fell on the day of the Australian Rules Football (AFL) Grand Final, a day that is, in essence, the Australian equivalent of Super Bowl Sunday. I have three older brothers who all love the AFL, but it’s my younger sister who is our family’s most devoted fan. As the B’nei Mitzvah drew closer, I prepared to fly to Sydney from New York, where I live.