My Date with a Prophet

The same week a viral essay came out announcing the apocalypse of modern dating, I went on a date with a man who might have been a prophet.

In the New York Times Magazine, Jean Garnett diagnosed men today with a series of erotic deficiencies—sexual passivity, an ambivalence toward relationships, and a terminal lack of desire—that had left her feeling “bruised” and “bleak.” She applied the term “heterofatalism” not just to her own experience but the future of heterosexual romance at large. I toggled between the essay and text messages from my dating apps, feeling torn: Was the problem men’s lack of desire, or something else—a deeper confusion about what justifies commitment and what relationships are even for? Garnett seemed uncertain herself. In nearly five thousand words, she could barely name a reason to partner with a man besides regular access to a penis. It was hard not to see this lack of vision as a self-fulfilling prophecy.