Bang the World

One in a thousand people has six toes or fingers. Twenty-six percent of young people lack a gag reflex. And about two in seven dudes, according to my own research as a participant observer, will say something skeevy about women in exclusively male company. Case in point: a recent Saturday after jiujitsu practice, when a panting and sweaty group of guys, some regulars and some newcomers, were gathered at the edge of the mat getting to know each other. A Honduran American with whom I had been speaking Spanish asked why I knew the language, and I told him my wife was from Santiago de Compostela. This excited him more than it should have—maybe he thought I meant Santiago de Chile—and after an approving nod and a That’s what I’m talking about, he detailed his disenchantments with dating in the States and offered a mini-prospectus on the superior female offerings in assorted Latin American countries he had visited. In the ensuing discussion, every conceivable sexual cliché was proffered, from big-butted Brazilians to feisty Colombians to submissive Asians (all 4.7 billion of them?) to sophisticated but spicy Eastern Europeans. A Nigerian acquaintance seated nearby, his expression that of a hungry child with his face pressed to a pastry shop window, expelled an audible sigh and announced to us all, “Man, as soon as I get my citizenship, I’m going full Passport Bro.”