Jack Schlossberg: America’s Vanity Heir

The blessing of being a Kennedy (no relation) is that you are born with the capacity to do whatever you want, with no barriers to success; to be admired for no reason besides your beauty and charm. The curse of being a Kennedy is that your baser instincts are stronger than the average bear’s. JFK and RFK Sr chose what politicians self-congratulatorily call lives of “public service”, which for the former was pretty cushy – “if I don’t have a woman every three days or so I get a terrible headache,” the late president once reportedly said. Many settle for mere Senate seats, or perhaps appointments to the ambassadorship of Japan, like Caroline Kennedy before her current post in Australia. It’s very nice to be called “your excellency”, I’m sure. There are looming threats across the world but America’s real goal, for some reason, is to sufficiently flatter this one messy family, which is made up of not just nepo babies, but a whole nepo family tree with a complex nepo root system.