The Cult of Self-Optimization

If I were to put into practice just a tiny amount of the content I’ve recently viewed on social media, I would, immediately on awakening, make sure I rehydrate with water. The bottle would be steel or glass to minimise the absorption of harmful microplastics, which stimulate the adrenal gland. I would then do a three-minute mobility sequence to optimise my joint health and dexterity, and to impede ageing. Then I’d promptly go outside and walk barefoot on the grass to let the Earth’s electromagnetic forces radiate through the soles of my feet.