The biggest regret of my high school years is missing Barbie day in AP Government. It had to have occurred between our units on agrarianism and The Federalist Papers the week I was convinced I had mono. Like the Constitution, Barbie demands an originalist interpretation. She remains vital to the preservation of the republic–more American than apple pie, as important as that rogue cabal of Virginians. But like the rest of our values, Barbie is now under attack. Or so many in conservative media say.
Barbie has remained a fraught cultural product since her debut in 1959. She’s a model of American virtue with a can-do-anything attitude whose unrealistic body type has been a constant threat to feminists. She’s the embodiment of the American Dream with a marketing history that serves as a blueprint for the worst tendencies of woke capital’s tokenism.
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