Into the Ditch

I have no sense of humor. I know this because so many people have told me so. And I agree with them because there is nothing more humorless than to try to argue against such a judgement. Nothing that I can do can alter this. I once claimed to have obtained a certificate showing that I had no sense of humor, from an invented Bundesstiftung fur Humorlosigskeit (Federal Foundation for Humourlessness) in the unfunny German town of Salzgitter. My critics took me seriously, of course. I have from time to time made successful unscripted jokes in debates and broadcasts, which have caused people to laugh. I have been known to provoke laughter in private conversation, too. Sometimes, I have been known to laugh myself, a grim business. I could call witnesses to these events, but this would be an act of humorlessness in itself and so it would be futile. As I have no sense of humor, it does not count.