Parenting, particularly parenting in the early years, is a peculiarly lonely business. It isn’t hard to find reasons for that: the change in priorities that comes along with parenting can disrupt established relationships. It’s hard to see other people, to maintain old friendships or activities whilst working around the needs of a small baby. But there is a loneliness that’s more intrinsic to the task than these explanations allow for.
I felt this most acutely after the birth of my second child. With just one child, our lives had retained at least a veneer of structure, a regular rhythm of sleep and meals, work and friends. With the arrival of a second baby, the chaos we’d been keeping at bay got the better of us. My best efforts at imposing structure or sociability on our days only seemed to highlight our fundamental isolation as a unit.
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