A Modest Proposal for Transforming the Universities

As a first step, I propose the creation of a University Exchange Commission. Just as the SEC was created in the 1930s to police the fraud and chicanery in the stock market that had contributed to the market crash of 1929, so the UEC would police the integrity of university life in the wake of the collapse of academic standards and the proliferation of fraudulent and ideologically motivated campaigners who foist preposterous and racially divisive initiatives like critical race theory and diversity, equity, and inclusion demands on defenseless students and teachers.