The Pop Culture Winners and Losers of Super Bowl LVII

Time passes differently when you’re waiting for Rihanna to take the stage for her first live performance in more than five years. On Sunday night, the Philadelphia Eagles and the Kansas City Chiefs played the first—and I’m guessing here—16-hour half of a Super Bowl. Fortunately, the second, post-Rihanna half passed much more swiftly and contained some highly compelling football right down to the final seconds … or at least that’s what I’m told. For a certain set of people, the Super Bowl isn’t so much about sportsmanship or the enduring triumph of the human spirit, etc.—it is almost entirely about watching a perfect 13-minute halftime performance that you’ll be forcing others to watch for years to come, questioning the current state of marketing, and maybe learning what offensive pass interference is against your will.