Elon Musk Has Taken Twitter: Day Zero

Elon Musk has finally taken Twitter. Seizing the memes of production. Monday, an open letter signed by an unknown number of Twitter employees “leaked” to TIME. With Elon’s Friday legal deadline for the Twitter deal fast approaching, his maybe-future employees had a list of demands: 1) you shall respect us, 2) you shall fire no one, and 3) you shall let us work from home. Cartoonishly divorced from reality in the familiar, entertaining, almost comforting manner America has come to expect from the most privileged employees in human history, the letter was also an interesting tell. Why were these employees nervous? The months-long clusterfuck Twitter deal couldn’t possibly be happening.