Let’s be honest: graduation ceremonies are for the birds. Yes, I understand such an event is a milestone—not as significant as a wedding or birth of a child, certainly, maybe more on the order of a bar mitzvah or confirmation—but except in rare, fortunate cases, the proceedings are long, tedious and enveloped in boilerplate platitudes that are dusted off every June by the presiding official. This isn’t a generous assessment, and I’ve no intention of offending graduates, their parents and school officials, but when a duffer such as myself, not so far off from the ranks of sexagenarians, sits through the symbolic march to adulthood, the thought of a snooze trumps the presentation of yet another award handed out at the podium.
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