Could Toking Up, Like, Save the Country?

In a more enlightened world, proponents of legalizing marijuana would gather around red-white-and-blue bongs and watch as President Barack Obama made the following proclamation: “My fellow Americans, depending on how much pot you smoke, you may or may not recall that I was the first presidential candidate to admit inhaling. And so I stand before you today to declare my full support for legalizing marijuana. We will put farmers, small business owners, and truck drivers back to work. We will heal this nation’s deep economic wounds—and give a shot in the arm to the snack food industry, too.”