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Food activists are nowadays busy denouncing the alleged unsustainability of our food system—or as they describe it, our genetically modified “corn-utopia.” Though this system might provide plentiful and cheap “nutritional simulacra,” it is, they claim, soaking up a rapidly vanishing petroleum pool while delivering junk food, rural poverty, agricultural pollution, soaring cancer rates, and unnatural mutations. They further claim that the way out of this wasteland is a carbon-fuel detoxification diet known as “locavorism” through which we will produce an ever-increasing portion of our food supply closer to where we live rather than importing it from further away. In doing so, we will simultaneously heal the planet, create jobs, ensure a more reliable and nutritious food supply, and improve physical, spiritual, and societal health.