“How do you know what you like?” We were, this writer and I, discussing sex at that moment. The conversation started with us trying to trace back why we found certain things attractive. Glasses, for me. Strong shoulders, for him. But the conversation got franker from there, as we realized we shared the fact that some people we had found attractive clothed and at a distance were much less appealing once we got them alone. We began reminiscing about those shameful moments from your past when you’re in bed with a guy, things are getting interesting, and he has the nerve to ask, “So, what would you like me to do?” Maybe your mind went blank, or maybe you gestured vaguely with your hand, or maybe you mumbled something like, “Oh, I don’t know, just keep doing what you’re doing” and you kind of wanted to die.